I know this site has died, and I take most of the blame for the CarlBlog going dormant, but this is my attempt to make ammends. Here are two issues of the Carl 09. I would have put the other four issues not yet on the internet, but security won’t let me into the Carl office and someone from facilites has already swiped the key.

New Executive Editors will no doubt do better than I have done to make this site real.

2-27-09

5-22-09

-Alex Sciuto

On January 30, we at The Carl launched a campaign of benevolent conquest against our neighbors from the north at Carleton University. While we have yet to hear back from Carleton U’s Charlatan directly, there are murmurings on the Charlatan website about a possible response. See for yourself:

http://www.charlatan.ca/drupal/content/defending-our-dignity-and-our-name

- Greg Hunter

Is Zooey Deschanel’s life a vanity project?  It’s not really surprising that the future Mrs. Ben Gibbard would play a manic pixie dream girl, but in an audacious, self-imposed bit of type-casting, she’s apparently playing one in two different movies.  That are both quirky indie comedies.  That are both about Deschanel turning the lives of two relatable sensitive boys upside down.  That come out two months apart.  The difference, I guess, is that one panders directly to Pixies fans, and the other to those who prefer the Smiths.

The most disappointing part of this really is that Paul Dano has acted convincingly opposite Daniel Day-Lewis, Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s perpetually in need of a movie that’ll make him huge, and both are playing ‘89 John Cusack here.

- Greg Hunter

Found footage blogs are a wealth of VHS-era kitsch, but clips from sex and dating advice videos are my favorite by far. Maybe it’s their supposed quick fixes to the complicated, enduring issues between men and women. Maybe it’s just the guy at the 1:47 mark in video #1.

From videohomesystem.com:

From everthingisterrible.blogspot.com:

From the Found Footage Festival:

- Greg Hunter

2-13-09-carl

02 EDITORS’ NOTE Prescience and struggle in the face of meaninglessness
03 DOORMAT Words for the trustees • More stuff freshmen like • Vagina dialogues
05 SOCIETY Long distance relationships: stories and strategies • How to have an alternative Valentines Day
09 ARTS & LIT Just in time for your lonely Saturday, some scintillating romance novel reviews
10 FEATURE Graffiti at Carleton: a comprehensive history
14 PERFORMANCES Talking with the cast and grew of The House of Seven Gables
16 MUSIC Franz Ferdinand’s latest: what’s the Scottish word for misstep? • What does a film prof listen to? • Aaron Kaufman looks into a dark mirror
18 CINEMA He’s Just Not That Into You: it’s not a chick flick if it’s got Affleck, bro • Andrew Tatge on noise and movie trailers
20 CARTOONS We make Winsor McCay look like a stupid jerk
22 FUN & GAMES You choose the next Vinayak!
23 COUNTDOWN Chun-Li, local hip-hop, and avoiding sterility

Best. Carl. Ever. Period. Two timely features. Erudite Reviews. And World War III: Carleton College v. Carleton University.

CARL 1/30/09

Contents:

01 EDITORS’ NOTE Prescience and struggle in the face of meaninglessness
03 DOORMAT Carlemaggedon starts here – we demand our name back from Carleton University!
06 SOCIETY Orion Martin’s inauguration misadventure • Jordan Narvey on the importance of broomball • Momma mia! Sex and Mario Bros
08 SPECIAL DOUBLE FEATURE: Comps, for the uninitiated • Surveying the controversy over Bon Appetit at Carleton
15 ARTS & LIT Sasha Korobova on the libe’s latest installation • James Hannaway talks to Dan Lacey, Minnesota’s foremost political painter
18 MUSIC Lil Wayne’s “Prom Queen” – horrible or terrible? • Andrew Bird lays a turd • Russ Petricka’s top tracks
20 CINEMA Notorious: a dialogic review • Frank Firke spends Christmas on Mars
22 PERFORMANCES Faust comes to the cities • How cool was Cooler Ranch’s debut?
23 CARTOONS A whole lotta Jenna MacKrell • Makando Z gets complicated
26 FUN & GAMES It’s a letter ‘Z’-themed word search. Why? Because we can. • Things Barack Obama will make cool again, in the Bracket
27 COUNTDOWN What is this “super-bowl”? Max Bearack and Frank Firke explain

Along with room draw numbers coming out today, I finally saw Carleton’s new Northfield option policy. With the new dorms going into use next year, I think everyone expected a reduced number of students receiving Northfield Option, but as someone who doesn’t pay much attention to the inside politics of Carleton, I was surprised by how thorough and restrictive the overhaul is. The two main points: only 100 students get to live off-campus and the 100 golden tickets are alotted just like a normal campus room (the person with the highest room draw number can draw in up to four other people with them in Northfield).

What do you guys think about this? As a person with no personal stake in this, it seems fair to all except those juniors who chose to live off-campus this year and assumed they’d more easily get Northfield Option their senior year. With this change, it seems there will be at least a few kids who were living off-campus but will be denied their request for next year. What will they do with all their junk from their houses!!?

-Alex Sciuto

Aren’t you amazed when one of your really smart friends, or really smart people on tv or in magazines throws out some idea or tidbit so obviously cool and interesting that you think “Why can’t I think of this. It’s so obvious.” I’ve noticed that lots of cool blogs usually have that same Ah Ha! moment. To showcase one of these conceptual jewels, here’s the fifth installment of Why Didn’t I Think To Make That Blog. Of course, if you find one of these great blogs, you’ll shoot them our way won’t you?

——————

http://men-in-full.livejournal.com

Their generous form in art and experience

http://men-in-full.livejournal.com/

About (from the site): My name is Stefanie, and this LJ, Men-In-Full, celebrates large men. I do love them; I’m married to one! Here I want to offer a whole re-orientation of how we perceive large men with the eye and in the mind.

Why It’s Great: Pictures of fat guys. Jolly men. Old men. Young men. That fat guy from Lost. SUMO WRESTERS! They’re all here. From paintings to random pictures! I realize this site is specifically aimed at ladies who like more weighty guys, but come on, doesn’t seeing the picture of the fat guy smoking a pipe make you giggle! What is he thinking? I don’t know! But he sure looks content.

-Alex Sciuto

Lindsey Shaugnessy e-mailed me that The Office tv show is having a t-shirt design contest. Well, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try my hand at designing a t-shirt that could possibly be sold by NBC.com! Of course, giving the winner royalties or something like that would be just too much, but the social critic in me is immediately silenced by that humorous Jim (Like that? That’s called subtle sarcasm…).

I would include a link to the web page where you can vote for my t-shirt, but I don’t think there’s any voting mechanism. The contest seems as well-thought and serious as the many contests the Carl claims to have.

But here’s my entry:

-Alex Sciuto

We’re back with the first magazine of cheery winter season! Make sure to check out the cover because it looks a lot better in pdf form. Eventually, I hope that we’ll master the fine art of lightening every picture and graphic on the computer that it comes out as pretty in print as it does on the screen, but for now enjoy wowing at it on the COMPUTER!

CARL 01-16-09

( CONTENTS: )

02 EDITORS’ NOTE – Prescience and struggle in the face of meaninglessness

03 DOORMAT – For the benefit of those who where abroad, Matt Pieh presents a synopsis of Penisgate ‘08 • Libertarianism and you

05 PERFORMANCES – The Guthrie does Albee, and Mandy Zoch reports • Winter ‘09 previews

06 SOCIETY – Sex and food, or ‘Remember that Seinfeld episode?’ • The next time you consider asking out your chem lab crush, maybe you should grow up first

08 FEATURE – Dan Sugarman talks to Randy Peck, punk rock Santa

10 MUSIC – Sting gives President Oden the creeps • Kyle Kramer likes the new Animal Collective, cultural implications be damned

12 ARTS & LIT – Alex Sciuto sees the world’s most expensive painting • Sasha Korobova gets melodramatic • Greg Hunter reads Krazy Kat

14 CINEMA – Andreas Stoehr loves esoteric films, and he doesn’t care who it hurts • Gomorra’s Italian gangsters shake down Andrew Tatge

16 FUN & GAMES – It’s the student journalism equivalent of Jordan playing for the Wizards: The Bracket is back!

17 COUNTDOWN – It’s Biggie vs. Blagojevich in a battle for your attention

18 CARTOONS

-Alex Sciuto

In hopes of a better product, the doormat is trying a little experiment in blogging. As much as I love frantically writing the Top Five and the Schillometer during Wednesday night layout, I think we can do better. For the next couple of issues I’m going to try posting a prompt for the Schillometer and the Top Five on the Carl website and see what everyone else is thinking. Whether you’re Carl staff or not, feel free to add any comments to the post and we’ll print the best collective ideas. If this doesn’t work, I can probably think of penis jokes.

Also, here is the human flying-squirrel video I showed at the last meeting. If you didn’t see it you should probably watch it: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1895859

Any Ideas?
Top 5-
Schillometer-

-Pieh

boys and toys

I didn’t know anything about Gomorrah when I went to it, other than it won some big big awards in Europe and that it was on the cover of the most recent issue of the BFI’s Sight and Sound publication before I left campus. Boy am I glad that’s all I knew.  Had I seen one of the trailers, some of the most shocking moments of the film would have been spoiled.  Perhaps this is a fateful nudge for me to stop breaking down trailers and their edits.

Initially, the film is disorienting.  I spent the first hour wondering who all these people are and how do they fit into the the greater picture. Hierarchy is not immediately communicated, and viewers have to categorize characters of all ages and roles as we navigate their stories. My instinct to first identify the perimeter, where the mob begins and ends in relation to the rest of society, was disappointed. Unlike the The Godfather, Sopranos, Goodfellas, or The Departed there was is no seducing of innocent outsiders.  Parents aren’t encouraging their kids stay away from the big men in dark rooms and get a decent job because, well, the legitimate jobs in the fashion industry, waste removal, and who knows what else are part of the community. The system that houses the characters is so massive it can’t be seen in relation to a “non-mob” society, but as a primer on how an entirely different community from our own (or so we believe) operates. Perhaps this is one of the most unsettling, and pertinent, issues that the film points to, seemingly shrugging: we are implicitly involved with the sins of the system that we rely on survival. Yes, the film is explicitly about a mob community, but the complacency of the characters in a violent causes me to reflect on my own complacency when I hear about the bad things I think my society is responsible for. 

Like an immersive language classroom, the rules and relations of this society’s political and financial economy are slowly rendered, and every now and then, violence suddenly punctures the flow of the film. Sometimes it strikes when suspected, but more often we are reminded violence can occur at any time—suddenly and without foreboding to let us brace ourselves. On a few occasions killers and/or their victims are offscreen, and the camera whirs to capture moments just missed.  There is a heavy use of a handheld camera effect, but more than any other film I can think of, this is often has tactile effects besides “engaging the audience”**. The camera’s perspective in Gomorrah actively hides and reveals information.  I certainly don’t know all films, but I can’t think of another that uses style to embody thematic questions of violence’s “scope” in our society.

See this if you can.  IFC is distributing so it’ll be available in theatres the same time as in other formats.

**(which is what one producer in a Q&A session for another film said the intent was.  Honestly, I think an unspoken plus it that it might save time and be easier to shoot a tight shot not using a tripod or mount all the time). In general, the most common use of handheld camera shooting is to create a sense of authentic observation.  I am thinking of when conversations are shot, it is usually a series of steady shots edited together, “popping” from one perspective to the other (shot of person A from B’s side, shot of person B from A’s side).  You see this in TV talk shows as well as in fiction. It is debatably more authentic looking when the camera pans (but not quite perfectly) between two speaking characters, as though the camera is a third person’s eyeballs looking back and forth following characters to see what reactions occur, or following a character as they actively move a room.

Aren’t you amazed when one of your really smart friends, or really smart people on tv or in magazines throws out some idea or tidbit so obviously cool and interesting that you think “Why can’t I think of this. It’s so obvious.” I’ve noticed that lots of cool blogs usually have that same Ah Ha! moment. To showcase one of these conceptual jewels, here’s the fourth installment of Why Didn’t I Think To Make That Blog. Of course, if you find one of these great blogs, you’ll shoot them our way won’t you?

——————

http://stairporn.org/
(stairs, and nothing but)

http://www.stairporn.org/

About (from the site): stair porn is a weblog featuring cool stairs from around the world. Posting will be relatively sporadic, so we recommend subscribing to the feed for updates. >> If you came here looking for sex, you’re plumb outta luck, bub.

Why It’s Great: This site first caught my eye when a really cool staircase was posted on MAKE Magazine’s blog. The image to the left really sums up the gestalt of the blog. The images are exclusively stairs, and having flipped through the blog’s archives, all the stairs are stunningly beautiful. But the images tell a story so much more expansive than just a device for altering personal elevation. They sum up entire buildings succinctly and beautifully. I don’t know who the photographers, but they all can really spot great architectural shots. It seems sometimes a coincidence and afterthought that a stair takes center-stage in the photo.

-Alex Sciuto

I’ve expressed my fondness for Christopher Hitchens before on this blog.  In a time when political commentators are judged largely by who among them can shout the loudest, it’s hard not to like someone who’s such an unabashed stylist.  Hitchens is maybe our greatest living polemic writer, and it’s as much because of the control he exerts over his prose as anything else.  His favorite target is probably organized religion, and in this recent Slate article -http://www.slate.com/id/2206713/ – he vows to write a fiercer anti-Christmas column every year.  Now while I think Hitchens makes a great Grinch – calling the holiday a “moral and aesthetic nightmare” is an example of the elevated purple prose no one does quite so well – I don’t really buy his argument this year, that the U.S. “turns itself into the cultural and commercial equivalent of a one-party state” at Christmastime.

I’m a lapsed Catholic who plans to celebrate Christmas for the rest of my life.  Part of why I’m at ease with this is because the holiday as it is today seems like a bright, shining triumph of the secular.  At it’s core, Christmas is indisputably Christian, but do we really see Christianity casting a shadow over all American institutions each December?  Or do we see market capitalism using the holiday for all it’s worth, with Christians and non-Christians alike buying and selling lots of junk they don’t need?  (Less cynically: when Christmas gives Americans a pretense for family gatherings and gift-giving, I’d imagine those acts of gathering and giving are more important than the pretense itself for many people.)  Organized religions aren’t going anywhere, Christianity included, but seeing one of the two most popular Christian holidays fixed in such a secularized form should be, for someone like Hitchens, a source of holiday cheer.  And speaking of cheer, I’ve had this on repeat lately:

- Greg Hunter

Well, here’s the third music related post in a row. I apologize. I know Tom and Greg can write cogently about music, but I can’t so I’ll keep this short. Everyone loves the Beatles and everyone loves Sufjan Stevens, right? Well, I found this track of Sufjan covering What Goes On, from Rubber Soul. It’s from an anniversary album of a bunch of different artists covering all the songs from Rubber Soul. I think the track sounds pretty cool.

Sufjan/Beatles

-Alex Sciuto

First off, I’d like to second a few of Greg’s picks – No Age, Times New Viking, Fucked Up, and Santogold. Alright. Click the links below to download individual tracks, or here for the mediafire folder.

The Magnetic Fields – California Girls

This could be the catchiest song I’ve ever heard. I don’t even listen to it that much, because every time I do, it sticks in my head for days afterward (along with fantasies of rampaging through Hollywood with a battleaxe).

Arthur Russell – I Couldn’t Say It To Your Face

Arthur Russell didn’t write many songs like this one. It’s a shame; “I Couldn’t Say it to Your Face” is as immediate and heartfelt as anything else I’ve heard of his (which, in the scheme of his monstrous output, is very little). Everything, from the stop-start chorus, to the understated horns, to Russell’s deceptively soulful vocal performance, is just right.

Big Boi – Royal Flush feat. Andre 3000 and Raekwon

Lil Wayne and his (totally awesome) nonsense are the big story in rap this year, but ‘Dre’s scattered guest appearances over the past two years, most recently on “Royal Flush,” serve as a reminder that off-kilter, virtuosic flow is nothing new. And then there’s the song’s heavy-ass beat and those other two solid verses from Big Boi and Raekwon. Wayne may be the future of rap, but the old guard is aging gracefully.

White Denim – Don’t Look That Way At It

The first song off of one of my favorite albums of the year (Exposion). Like most of the rest of the album, “Don’t Look That Way At It” sounds like three songs having a fight until about halfway through, when it pulls itself together and rocks your fucking face off.

Grizzly Bear – While You Wait For The Others

I’m not sure anyone expected Grizzly Bear to become one the tightest rock quartets playing after the meticulously arranged folk of Yellow House, but after a couple of years on the road honing their “live” sound, that’s exactly what they are. The first song to debut off of their forthcoming album, “While You Wait For the Others” is not only the best representation of the band’s new sound, it’s the best song they’ve ever written.

Deerhunter – Never Stops

I’m assuming that there are more casual Deerhunter fans than indie rock critics want us to think. Does everyone really think that Microcastle is that great? I don’t, and I’m skeptical. I do, however, think that “Never Stops” is awesome. Forget that it’s about inescapable depression; that wordless chorus slays.

Harlem – South Of France

“I hate every book I’ve ever read.” The battle cry of this compsing English major.

Tonisitcs – Holding On

Off of another great release from master crate-diggers The Numero Group, Soul Messengers from Dimona, “Hold On” is the “I Want You Back” of Jewish soul. Yeah, there is a serious novelty factor in play, here (see the collection’s backstory here), but the song stands on its own as a great soul record, and ought to make contemporary Christian music fans everywhere totally jealous (not that most of them would know a good song if it punched them in the ear).

Katy Perry – My War (Black Flag Cover)

-Tom Fry

To download mp3s, copy and paste the link provided in a new window

AC/DC – “Rock ‘N’ Roll Train”

Come on.  It’s amazing they can keep doing this.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUp5Tk05eFZMWEE9PQ&key=f0725ccfa02555503269eb0c8b84542e788747ed&bid=TTZra0ZYcHZ3NUlLSkE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Be Your Own Pet – “Becky”

A lot of Get Awkward, BYOP’s second and last album, apparently sucked.  The lead single, “The Kelly Affair,” definitely did.  But not “Becky,” a smart, funny punk pop song that exists somewhere between Mean Girls and “Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell.”  The song was stricken from the US version of Get Awkward because of concerns over subject matter (it’s about school violence like a Roadrunner cartoon is about animal abuse).

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUp5Tk1lcEozZUE9PQ&key=242f712becc1b3a5a6e210dc96fd0a2aa881c87d&bid=TTZra0ZYcHZEa1dGa1E9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Boston Spaceships – “You Satisfy Me”

It’s a relief and surprise that Robert Pollard is aging so gracefully.  In 2008, Fantagraphics put out a book of his collages, and his album with Boston Spaceships is thought to be his best since dissolving Guided By Voices.  On “You Satisfy Me” he sings like a big shaggy dog.  How do you make “seven in the morning” sound like that?

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUp5Tk0yWGZIRGc9PQ&key=1a3bdeda9d84be94b4310dc529fb867fd2d06f92&bid=TTZra0ZYcHYwMEhIRGc9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Fucked Up – “Son The Father”

People keep calling Fucked Up’s The Chemistry of Common Life a post-hardcore album, which doesn’t really mean anything (wouldn’t we at least be at post-post-hardcore by this point?).  Some reviewers are also saying it transcends the hardcore punk idiom, but didn’t half the bands on SST already do that 25 years ago?  (The only real innovation here is flutists.)  There’s nothing revolutionary about the album, contrary to the critical party line.  But that doesn’t mean it’s not really good.  Just call it a rock record?  A pretty awesome rock record?  “Son The Father,” particularly, DESTROYS.
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUp5Tk1YSHlGa1E9PQ&key=1c9dcde42c34e29bc98a832ec3e1009c3eb6a309&bid=TTZra0ZSZEs5eFhIRGc9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Ghostface Killah (feat. Kid Capri) – “We Celebrate”

This one’s tricky.  The single was released in ’08, but the album came out in December ’07.  Just listen to it, though – it insists on being included.  Ghostface is not gonna be cut from the theatrical release of Iron Man and excluded from a mix on the Carl blog the same year.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUowNXY5eFZMWEE9PQ&key=811fa06d5c64ad6e38b85d7f39b5615c9a69f8e3&bid=TTZra0ZSZEtnYU4zZUE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

The Hold Steady – “Slapped Actress”

The opening riff here is the sound of a ten-story building collapsing.  “Slapped Actress” makes a bunch of John Cassavetes references, but it makes me think of Leonard Cohen – this is a tower of song.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUowNXZEbUlLSkE9PQ&key=2f4186561621ad6aa5f2e8e6a9f0295cb15d68b4&bid=TTZra0ZSZEt0d0dGa1E9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Jenny Lewis and Elvis Costello – “Carpetbaggers“

Enjoying a Jenny Lewis song always makes me feel a little like a high school girl, but there’s a lot to like about “Carpetbaggers.”  The lyrics are corny, yeah, but it’s like everybody’s in on the joke.  And it sounds like someone forgot to tell Elvis Costello he was doing a faux-country duet – those vocals could be from a This Year’s Model outtake.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUowNXZ0d0ZMWEE9PQ&key=0abbd8997b9660cff36e0a54656b5c17dd3d45d5&bid=TTZra0ZSZEs0b0RIRGc9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

No Age – “Miner”

“Miner” is a great song from a great album, but No Age don’t fuck around live, either.  This show at Death By Audio was like, everything I want from a rock concert, and someone’s nicely captured it:

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUo4R3MxUUFLSkE9PQ&key=edbc83ec87f98bd2ef1c99f4adf66d525eeca25d&bid=TTZra0ZheFhUME4zZUE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Santogold – “Lights Out”

The Bud Light with Lime remix is also gorgeous.  No joke.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUo4R3MwMEZMWEE9PQ&key=eb0263af8697c3db4b5000034dbf14abaed6145d&bid=TTZra0ZkR0ZwTVYzZUE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin – “Glue Girls”

When Fuctape opened for SSLYBY in spring ’07, they were extremely friendly and gracious.  In spring ’08, Phillip Dickey, one of the band’s lead songwriters, agreed to an email interview with me and then never answered my questions.  It’s paradoxes like these that make such already fun power pop even more compelling.  I hope these big douchebags keep making such great songs.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUozTWNFc0xIRGc9PQ&key=ddedef82e87b4da70b1e02a932df814dcb8269e1&bid=TTZra0ZkR0ZJMHRMWEE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Times New Viking – “The Early ‘80s”

Yep!

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUozTWNRWUxIRGc9PQ&key=95cc86810c04fb2ecbc1223fd7f6b98d2cd2f18e&bid=TTZra0ZkR0ZwaFJMWEE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Wilco – “Wilco The Song (Live on The Colbert Report“

A while ago in The Carl I called Wilco’s Sky Blue Sky album “retirement rock,” and that’s still pretty much how I feel about it – don’t like it and don’t want to like it.  But this gem, played live on The Colbert Report, still makes me really curious about whatever Jeff Tweedy’s gonna put out next.  It’s Summerteeth-style pop plus Nels Cline’s weird ass jazz guitar heroics, and the sum is enough to keep me interested in Wilco The Future.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUozTWNVVGxMWEE9PQ&key=0da7af4e081bf75da2d1f42ca48d77bc54743d83&bid=TTZra0ZkR0Y4Q1FLSkE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Wire – “One Of Us”

See: description, AC/DC’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll Train.”

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUozTWNrWThLSkE9PQ&key=24aadd55f1849d3c40a593478c6171e26da2c652&bid=TTZra0ZkR0ZqV0JMWEE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

- Greg Hunter

When I’m flying, by the time the plane begins to land and I can see the buildings or farmland, I’ve usually got whatever was keeping me entertained packed-up. Because I can’t stand to sit quietly for even the twenty minutes before the plane lands, I pull out SkyMall. Everyone knows what it is.

But maybe I was particularly bored this flight, I started trying to think about items that a college/young-people/Carleton specific SkyMall would look like. I didn’t come up with any clever enough to share. But I’m wondering if any of you can think of any comletely useless items that every college dorm can’t be complete without.

-Alex Sciuto

Not having a TV in my apartment means, among other things, that usually the only music videos I see are ones I actively seek out.  Recently, though, I was involuntarily exposed to “Sex On Fire,” by Kings of Leon.  It’s a terrible clip for what’s barely a song, but it does feature my favorite music video trope: the ostensible symbol, an object and/or image that’s intended to appear as if it has a codified meaning but almost certainly does not.  Chicken is a metaphorically empty visual motif in “Sex On Fire,” both in bird and food form.  (Previous examples of the ostensible symbol include the flaming trees in Jewel’s “Standing Still” and the indoor rain in Eve 6’s “Inside Out” videos – if you’re stuck on how to feign profundity, turn to the elements.)

[Video available here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHhhcKxflMY]

The ostensible symbol is an indicator of laziness and pretension, granted, but videos that feature it empower viewers in a way art that’s made thoughtfully and deliberately cannot.  These objects and images signify only that they signify something, meaning we as viewers can actually decide what an ostensible symbol conveys rather than speculating on what the director intended.  We’re part of the creative process!

My top three guesses decisions on what chicken means in “Sex On Fire”:

1.  Having sex, like eating chicken, is better with napkins and family members.  (Having sex on fire is helpful in preventing salmonella.)
2.  The chicken is an answer to Freud’s male castration anxiety.  (Cut a chicken’s head off and that sucker will just keep on movin’ for a while, so don’t even worry about it.)
3.  Kings of Leon have their cocks in hand during this song.

What are your interpretations?

- Greg Hunter

Seriously the best chocolate chip cookies ever. This is for real cookie lovers. If you like your cookies gooey and boring, go buy some Toll House ready made dough and just eat it. But if your taste buds have grown beyond the kindergarten level, this is the recipe for you. These cookies are crispy yet buttery, and melt in your mouth after a satisfying crunch. It’s also the easiest baked good in the world to make, probably.

I would rotate the image 90 degrees, but it would take 20 minutes of waiting on my computer, so use the power of imagination to rotate it yourself!

• 1/2 stick of Crisco
• 1 stick of butter, softened
• 1 cup of white sugar
• 1/2 cup of packed brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
• 2 1/4 cups of flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1 tsp. salt
• As many chocolate chips as you like

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Using an electric mixer, combine the Crisco and the butter.

Add the white and bown sugar. Mix some more.

Add in the 2 eggs and vanilla. Mix some more.

Add the flour, baking soda, and salt. Mix some more.

Add the chocolate chips. Mix some more. You might have to use a big spoon at this point.

Spoon little mounds of dough onto a cookie sheet. The size is up to you, but the right way to do is a moderately heaping spoonful.

Bake for 18-20 minutes or until gold brown, and closer to the brown than the golden.

-Alex Sciuto

Toll House Drizzle™ cookies burning in the Hell Fires.