On January 30, we at The Carl launched a campaign of benevolent conquest against our neighbors from the north at Carleton University. While we have yet to hear back from Carleton U’s Charlatan directly, there are murmurings on the Charlatan website about a possible response. See for yourself:

http://www.charlatan.ca/drupal/content/defending-our-dignity-and-our-name

- Greg Hunter

Found footage blogs are a wealth of VHS-era kitsch, but clips from sex and dating advice videos are my favorite by far. Maybe it’s their supposed quick fixes to the complicated, enduring issues between men and women. Maybe it’s just the guy at the 1:47 mark in video #1.

From videohomesystem.com:

From everthingisterrible.blogspot.com:

From the Found Footage Festival:

- Greg Hunter

In hopes of a better product, the doormat is trying a little experiment in blogging. As much as I love frantically writing the Top Five and the Schillometer during Wednesday night layout, I think we can do better. For the next couple of issues I’m going to try posting a prompt for the Schillometer and the Top Five on the Carl website and see what everyone else is thinking. Whether you’re Carl staff or not, feel free to add any comments to the post and we’ll print the best collective ideas. If this doesn’t work, I can probably think of penis jokes.

Also, here is the human flying-squirrel video I showed at the last meeting. If you didn’t see it you should probably watch it: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1895859

Any Ideas?
Top 5-
Schillometer-

-Pieh

First off, I’d like to second a few of Greg’s picks – No Age, Times New Viking, Fucked Up, and Santogold. Alright. Click the links below to download individual tracks, or here for the mediafire folder.

The Magnetic Fields – California Girls

This could be the catchiest song I’ve ever heard. I don’t even listen to it that much, because every time I do, it sticks in my head for days afterward (along with fantasies of rampaging through Hollywood with a battleaxe).

Arthur Russell – I Couldn’t Say It To Your Face

Arthur Russell didn’t write many songs like this one. It’s a shame; “I Couldn’t Say it to Your Face” is as immediate and heartfelt as anything else I’ve heard of his (which, in the scheme of his monstrous output, is very little). Everything, from the stop-start chorus, to the understated horns, to Russell’s deceptively soulful vocal performance, is just right.

Big Boi – Royal Flush feat. Andre 3000 and Raekwon

Lil Wayne and his (totally awesome) nonsense are the big story in rap this year, but ‘Dre’s scattered guest appearances over the past two years, most recently on “Royal Flush,” serve as a reminder that off-kilter, virtuosic flow is nothing new. And then there’s the song’s heavy-ass beat and those other two solid verses from Big Boi and Raekwon. Wayne may be the future of rap, but the old guard is aging gracefully.

White Denim – Don’t Look That Way At It

The first song off of one of my favorite albums of the year (Exposion). Like most of the rest of the album, “Don’t Look That Way At It” sounds like three songs having a fight until about halfway through, when it pulls itself together and rocks your fucking face off.

Grizzly Bear – While You Wait For The Others

I’m not sure anyone expected Grizzly Bear to become one the tightest rock quartets playing after the meticulously arranged folk of Yellow House, but after a couple of years on the road honing their “live” sound, that’s exactly what they are. The first song to debut off of their forthcoming album, “While You Wait For the Others” is not only the best representation of the band’s new sound, it’s the best song they’ve ever written.

Deerhunter – Never Stops

I’m assuming that there are more casual Deerhunter fans than indie rock critics want us to think. Does everyone really think that Microcastle is that great? I don’t, and I’m skeptical. I do, however, think that “Never Stops” is awesome. Forget that it’s about inescapable depression; that wordless chorus slays.

Harlem – South Of France

“I hate every book I’ve ever read.” The battle cry of this compsing English major.

Tonisitcs – Holding On

Off of another great release from master crate-diggers The Numero Group, Soul Messengers from Dimona, “Hold On” is the “I Want You Back” of Jewish soul. Yeah, there is a serious novelty factor in play, here (see the collection’s backstory here), but the song stands on its own as a great soul record, and ought to make contemporary Christian music fans everywhere totally jealous (not that most of them would know a good song if it punched them in the ear).

Katy Perry – My War (Black Flag Cover)

-Tom Fry

To download mp3s, copy and paste the link provided in a new window

AC/DC – “Rock ‘N’ Roll Train”

Come on.  It’s amazing they can keep doing this.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUp5Tk05eFZMWEE9PQ&key=f0725ccfa02555503269eb0c8b84542e788747ed&bid=TTZra0ZYcHZ3NUlLSkE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Be Your Own Pet – “Becky”

A lot of Get Awkward, BYOP’s second and last album, apparently sucked.  The lead single, “The Kelly Affair,” definitely did.  But not “Becky,” a smart, funny punk pop song that exists somewhere between Mean Girls and “Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell.”  The song was stricken from the US version of Get Awkward because of concerns over subject matter (it’s about school violence like a Roadrunner cartoon is about animal abuse).

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUp5Tk1lcEozZUE9PQ&key=242f712becc1b3a5a6e210dc96fd0a2aa881c87d&bid=TTZra0ZYcHZEa1dGa1E9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Boston Spaceships – “You Satisfy Me”

It’s a relief and surprise that Robert Pollard is aging so gracefully.  In 2008, Fantagraphics put out a book of his collages, and his album with Boston Spaceships is thought to be his best since dissolving Guided By Voices.  On “You Satisfy Me” he sings like a big shaggy dog.  How do you make “seven in the morning” sound like that?

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUp5Tk0yWGZIRGc9PQ&key=1a3bdeda9d84be94b4310dc529fb867fd2d06f92&bid=TTZra0ZYcHYwMEhIRGc9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Fucked Up – “Son The Father”

People keep calling Fucked Up’s The Chemistry of Common Life a post-hardcore album, which doesn’t really mean anything (wouldn’t we at least be at post-post-hardcore by this point?).  Some reviewers are also saying it transcends the hardcore punk idiom, but didn’t half the bands on SST already do that 25 years ago?  (The only real innovation here is flutists.)  There’s nothing revolutionary about the album, contrary to the critical party line.  But that doesn’t mean it’s not really good.  Just call it a rock record?  A pretty awesome rock record?  “Son The Father,” particularly, DESTROYS.
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUp5Tk1YSHlGa1E9PQ&key=1c9dcde42c34e29bc98a832ec3e1009c3eb6a309&bid=TTZra0ZSZEs5eFhIRGc9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Ghostface Killah (feat. Kid Capri) – “We Celebrate”

This one’s tricky.  The single was released in ’08, but the album came out in December ’07.  Just listen to it, though – it insists on being included.  Ghostface is not gonna be cut from the theatrical release of Iron Man and excluded from a mix on the Carl blog the same year.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUowNXY5eFZMWEE9PQ&key=811fa06d5c64ad6e38b85d7f39b5615c9a69f8e3&bid=TTZra0ZSZEtnYU4zZUE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

The Hold Steady – “Slapped Actress”

The opening riff here is the sound of a ten-story building collapsing.  “Slapped Actress” makes a bunch of John Cassavetes references, but it makes me think of Leonard Cohen – this is a tower of song.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUowNXZEbUlLSkE9PQ&key=2f4186561621ad6aa5f2e8e6a9f0295cb15d68b4&bid=TTZra0ZSZEt0d0dGa1E9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Jenny Lewis and Elvis Costello – “Carpetbaggers“

Enjoying a Jenny Lewis song always makes me feel a little like a high school girl, but there’s a lot to like about “Carpetbaggers.”  The lyrics are corny, yeah, but it’s like everybody’s in on the joke.  And it sounds like someone forgot to tell Elvis Costello he was doing a faux-country duet – those vocals could be from a This Year’s Model outtake.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUowNXZ0d0ZMWEE9PQ&key=0abbd8997b9660cff36e0a54656b5c17dd3d45d5&bid=TTZra0ZSZEs0b0RIRGc9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

No Age – “Miner”

“Miner” is a great song from a great album, but No Age don’t fuck around live, either.  This show at Death By Audio was like, everything I want from a rock concert, and someone’s nicely captured it:

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUo4R3MxUUFLSkE9PQ&key=edbc83ec87f98bd2ef1c99f4adf66d525eeca25d&bid=TTZra0ZheFhUME4zZUE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Santogold – “Lights Out”

The Bud Light with Lime remix is also gorgeous.  No joke.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUo4R3MwMEZMWEE9PQ&key=eb0263af8697c3db4b5000034dbf14abaed6145d&bid=TTZra0ZkR0ZwTVYzZUE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin – “Glue Girls”

When Fuctape opened for SSLYBY in spring ’07, they were extremely friendly and gracious.  In spring ’08, Phillip Dickey, one of the band’s lead songwriters, agreed to an email interview with me and then never answered my questions.  It’s paradoxes like these that make such already fun power pop even more compelling.  I hope these big douchebags keep making such great songs.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUozTWNFc0xIRGc9PQ&key=ddedef82e87b4da70b1e02a932df814dcb8269e1&bid=TTZra0ZkR0ZJMHRMWEE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Times New Viking – “The Early ‘80s”

Yep!

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUozTWNRWUxIRGc9PQ&key=95cc86810c04fb2ecbc1223fd7f6b98d2cd2f18e&bid=TTZra0ZkR0ZwaFJMWEE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Wilco – “Wilco The Song (Live on The Colbert Report“

A while ago in The Carl I called Wilco’s Sky Blue Sky album “retirement rock,” and that’s still pretty much how I feel about it – don’t like it and don’t want to like it.  But this gem, played live on The Colbert Report, still makes me really curious about whatever Jeff Tweedy’s gonna put out next.  It’s Summerteeth-style pop plus Nels Cline’s weird ass jazz guitar heroics, and the sum is enough to keep me interested in Wilco The Future.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUozTWNVVGxMWEE9PQ&key=0da7af4e081bf75da2d1f42ca48d77bc54743d83&bid=TTZra0ZkR0Y4Q1FLSkE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

Wire – “One Of Us”

See: description, AC/DC’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll Train.”

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=check_download&ufid=Q01FYUozTWNrWThLSkE9PQ&key=24aadd55f1849d3c40a593478c6171e26da2c652&bid=TTZra0ZkR0ZqV0JMWEE9PQ&rcpt=hunterg@carleton.edu

- Greg Hunter

When I’m flying, by the time the plane begins to land and I can see the buildings or farmland, I’ve usually got whatever was keeping me entertained packed-up. Because I can’t stand to sit quietly for even the twenty minutes before the plane lands, I pull out SkyMall. Everyone knows what it is.

But maybe I was particularly bored this flight, I started trying to think about items that a college/young-people/Carleton specific SkyMall would look like. I didn’t come up with any clever enough to share. But I’m wondering if any of you can think of any comletely useless items that every college dorm can’t be complete without.

-Alex Sciuto

This past Tuesday morning at 8am, myself and fifteen or sixteen other Carleton students were sitting down bleary in Washington D.C. about to listen to a Carleton alum and two friends talk about their experiences working for Save the Children and talk about how they ended up working there. It was the first of about 20 organizations we would visit in the next three days in a blitz of information gathering about careers in public policy. I won’t bother you with the details or specifics of the different agencies, but there were some cool jobs for the aspiring James Bonds and some not so cool ones for the aspiring professional term-paper writers. I also won’t bother you with the specifics of how to get a top-notch job at the Treasury or State Department, but there were a number of very generalizable lessons the sixty or so people’s lives had in the common that we had the chance to learn about.

Here they are:

Follow Your Love. Yep, college romances are usually short, bittersweet, and end with the conferring of an undergraduate degree, but many of those who were successful got their start in Washington simply because they had a significant other who was heading there themself. It seems like it’s the combination of having no set plans mixed with the safety of a relationship that allowed these people to find jobs fields they had no previous interest. Most of the time, the jobs were short, but anchored to a place by another warm body, they kept finding new jobs until one stuck.

Leave the Country. It really doesn’t matter where you go, but get out of the country for at least a year or two. And Canada/Mexico doesn’t count. Whether it’s getting a reporting job in Rome, graduate school in Australia, or wandering around Asia finding yourself, the people we talked to traveled far and wide. Most of the time they planned ahead and got fellowships or jobs, but quite a few also just showed up in country and found a way to make ends meet. The traveling had two great benefits for their post-traveling Washington jobs. First, they knew a foreign culture the way an expert does. They spoke the language, knew the customs, and knew who to talk to in the country to get information if they needed it later. Secondly, the experience made them smarter and more adaptable. Without the benefit of the security of a permanent residence or job, these travelers were more open to suddenly moving again if the opportunity arose.

Don’t Immediately Go to Graduate School. Not a single person argued that after college, they were happy immediately returning to grad school. Only one man argued to attend grad school as early as possible, but that was predicated on knowing, and I mean knowing, what you wanted to do with your life. After four years of college, Law school or Public Policy school is three more years of the same critical thinking and improving of writing. You’re burnt out now, seniors, why do you expect that when August rolls around you’ll want a fifth, sixth, or even seventh year of this? See the two above lessons, make some mistakes, go to Alaska if you want. Find what you want to do, then go back to school to really learn to do it.

Is grad school useful? Opinions varied from a minority saying it was harmful to most saying they learned a lot, but they could have done without it. Grad school exists to prove you went to grad school. It’s the credentials. Maybe physicists and economists need graduate schooling, but it seems like lawyers and public policy experts learn most of what they need to know doing their jobs and experiencing new places and difficulties.

Never Waste an Opportunity to Make Friends. This applies to all people, but it especially applies to Washington, where we were told over and over, it matters more who you know than who you are. The people we talked to got their jobs because they were in the right place, knew the right stuff, and knew the right people. No one asked for GRE or LSAT scores or all those numbers. If you were an intern, you would get the job the next year. If you showed up in NPR’s offices every day touting your journalistic skills and experiences, you’d eventually get a job. In D.C., there’s a lot of turnover, and while college grads may think that hiring takes place only once a year, every year, the reality is that often times, whomever is there to fill the interim will end up staying if they like the job and are liked themselves.

Write Write Write Write and Learn to Speak Speak Speak. You might have the best ideas in the world, deep ideas that would progress humanity to the next epoch of evolution, but if you can’t write out or speak your thoughts, they’ll go nowhere. Look what I’m doing now. Hopefully someone reads this and see my name, and says, “That Alex, he can sure reflect and generalize from his experiences. And not only that, he can write an article about it!” The more you write, the better you get and the more likely people will read your work. The more stuff you put out, the more likely you’ll find an audience. So if your dream is to work in development, start a blog about development, submit your comps paper to journals, turn it into an article for a magazine. It won’t be the New York Times or Newsweek, but you’ll eventually find an audience. The same goes for speaking. Learn to speak well and succinctly. People can skim an article, but they’ll quickly get bored listening to you ramble about all the great lessons you learned while visiting Washington D.C. Make it brief, to the point.

Seriously though, we met more than a few people who got jobs because of their amateur blogging. It’s not completely without precedent.

Be a Problem Solver. A journalist mentioned that 90% of people out there are mediocre and cause more problems than they solve. Don’t be these people. If you dependably make your boss’s life easier, he’ll love you for it. The fewer questions and micromanagement decisions the boss has to make, the better you’ll look.

Find Your Love. Bouncing from job to job is fine. Some of the people we talked to haven’t held a job for longer than two years, but the jobs just slowly get better. But through all that bouncing, you’ll eventually discover what you love to do and everything else. The task then is to find the jobs and tasks that are that narrow column of love and avoid the rest. But you need to know what you love before you can know what to go after.

Whew. I didn’t expect this to be so long. Sorry dudes, but it was a crazy three days jam packed with meeting really interesting people.

-Alex Sciuto

A few nights ago, I sat down to watch Santa’s Slay, a pirated DVD of my younger brother’s. The film, from 2005, stars former pro-wrestler Bill Goldberg as a murderous Santa Claus. Santa’s Slay belongs to the vast body of the direct-to-DVD horror-comedies that are neither scary nor funny, which manage to suggest self-awareness while basically lacking it. What distinguishes Slay from the rest is its baffling opening scene. There are few familiar faces throughout the movie (an unfortunate exception is SCTV alum Dave Thomas, who’s too talented to be in it). For the most part, they’re concentrated in the first three minutes, where Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan and James Caan are seated together at Christmas dinner, the most bizarre collection of cameos I’ve ever seen. Now Caan’s track record isn’t perfect, granted – for every Godfather, there are 88 episodes of Las Vegas – but hearing Sonny Corleone call Mango a “half-a-fag” is still something kind of incredible.

- Greg Hunter

Aren’t you amazed when one of your really smart friends, or really smart people on tv or in magazines throws out some idea or tidbit so obviously cool and interesting that you think “Why can’t I think of this. It’s so obvious.” I’ve noticed that lots of cool blogs usually have that same Ah Ha! moment. To showcase one of these conceptual jewels, here’s the third installment of Why Didn’t I Think To Make That  Blog. Of course, if you find one of these great blogs, you’ll shoot them our way won’t you?

——————

http://thisisindexed.com/

http://thisisindexed.com/

About (from the site): This site is a little project that lets me make fun of some things and sense of others. I use it to think a little more relationally without resorting to doing actual math..

Why It’s Great: If you love Venn Diagrams and conceptual graphs about subjects that should never never be graphed or diagrammed, then you’ll like this site. Honestly, though. This site is mainly about the concept of drawing simple illustrations on index cards attempting to make sense of the world. More often than not, the actual visual reflections are quotidian, but occassionally the author sums up an idea with a high level of wit and visual efficiency.

-Alex Sciuto

I found this list on the Gould Library Media Blog.

86 Most popular DVDs at the Gould Library

1.    The wire. The complete second season
2.    Starukhi = Old women
3.    The endless summer
4.    Fargo
5.    Becoming Jane
6.    House M.D. Season one
7.    Titanic
8.    Last tango in Paris
9.    Blood simple
10.    Se7en
11.    The wire. The complete third season
12.    The wire. The complete first season
13.    House M.D. Season two
14.    Planet Earth. The complete series
15.    Das leben der Anderen = The lives of others
16.    Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
17.    Sjunde inseglet = The seventh seal
18.    Elizabeth
19.    Muslims
20.    Ali Zaoua
21.    Secrets of a soul = Geheimnisse einer Seele
22.    The wire. The complete fourth season
23.    The princess bride
24.    Blowup
25.    Schindler’s list
26.    North country
27.    Twilight of the ice nymphs ; Archangel ; The heart of the world
28.    Mulan
29.    The Joy Luck Club
30.    A prairie home companion
31.    Alien
32.    The Syrian bride
33.    Carrie
34.    Some like it hot
35.    Bride & prejudice
36.    O brother, where art thou?
37.    The usual suspects
38.    Blue velvet
39.    Le scaphandre et le papillon
40.    The wire. The complete fifth season
41.    Todo sobre mi madre
42.    Mujeres al borde de un ataque de “nervios” = Women on the verge of a nervous breakdown
43.    Rosemary’s baby
44.    Lust, caution
45.    Persepolis
46.    Funny girl
47.    The notebook
48.    Monty Python and the Holy Grail
49.    Funny face
50.    Dirty filthy love
51.    Indiana Jones and the temple of doom
52.    Labyrinth
53.    The little mermaid
54.    Brief encounter
55.    Funny games
56.    Stroszek
57.    The Godfather. Part II
58.    Spirited away
59.    All quiet on the western front
60.    Pocahontas
61.    Great expectations
62.    G-men
63.    Cars
64.    The Godfather
65.    Good Will Hunting
66.    Pride and prejudice (BBC/A&E)
67.    Laura
68.    Once upon a time in the West
69.    Un long dimanche de fiançailles = A very long engagement
70.    Patton
71.    Dead poets society
72.    Infernal affairs = Wu jian dao
73.    10 things I hate about you
74.    Chasing Amy
75.    Saving Private Ryan
76.    Primary colors
77.    Good bye Lenin!
78.    Lord of the rings. Return of the king
79.    Clueless
80.    Batman
81.    Chinatown
82.    Architectures 3
83.    A beautiful mind
84.    The pianist
85.    The Matrix
86.    Clerks

-Alex Sciuto

Presenting:

The latest, greatest edition of the Carl:

10-24-08 CARL

And two old issues from the archives:

1-12-07 CARL

10-20-06 CARL

-Alex Sciuto

The Times Style Magazine has a really nice tribute to the Jazzmaster on its fiftieth anniversary. I don’t know much about guitars, but the article gives you a nice education on the guitar used by just about every band. For example, the jazzmaster was designed for… can you guess it… masters of jazz. But they didn’t like it one bit. Fortunately, jazz players rejection of the guitar opened it up for the likes of everyone from the Smiths to Elvis Costello to Yo La Tengo.

Link: http://www.nytimes.com/indexes/2008/09/07/style/t/index.html#pageName=07fender

-Alex Sciuto

I try to monitor my emotions pretty closely when I follow politics.  Feelings of righteous anger, the thrill of hearing your beliefs amplified on a larger stage or echoed by a large body of people–these are fundamentally dangerous things.  So it’s with a slight sense of caution and embarrassment that I mention how gleeful professional contrarian Christopher Hitchens’ recent takedown of McCain/Palin made me feel: http://www.slate.com/id/2202163/

Whether you agree with him or not–frequently, I don’t–Hitchens is undoubtedly one of the best political writers around in the areas of style and wit, and when he describes McCain’s “increasingly obvious and embarrassing deficit, both cognitive and physical,” well…maybe a slight grin of affirmation is okay.

Also, here is a picture of Hitchens being waterboarded:

- Greg Hunter

Well, it might not be hot off the e-press, but the weekend is not yet over, and the newest edition is here for all. Download it and then you can see The Carl in its crisp, high resolution glory.

Carl Week 4

As all of you know, The Carl has a section called The Countdown where we note a special or significant event coming up and comment on it. Well, We’ve got space for one more event to countdown. What should we put there?

-Alex Sciuto

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Congragulations!

We’ve had one hundred people visit CarlMagazine.com

Hopefully, when all this is running all the editors and writers of the Carl staff will get their own login so they can post whatever they want to this blog. Does having your own account make a difference? Or should we just give everyone the keys to the digital kingdom?